Woody Allen Quotes and Sayings

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Woody Allen Quotes, sayings, meaningful

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.

Woody Allen

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Woody Allen

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Woody Allen

Woody Allen Quotes, sayings, meaningful, best

If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

Woody Allen

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.

Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.

Woody Allen

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Woody Allen

Woody Allen Quotes, sayings, meaningful, deep

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen

Woody Allen Quotes, sayings, meaningful, wise

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.

Woody Allen