Milton Berle Quotes and Sayings

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Milton Berle Quotes and Sayings, deep, wise

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.

Milton Berle

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Milton Berle

I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Milton Berle

Milton Berle Quotes and Sayings, evolution, works

Experience is what you have after you’ve forgotten her name.

Milton Berle

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison – if it wasn’t for him, we’d be watching television by candlelight.

Milton Berle

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

Milton Berle

Milton Berle Quotes and Sayings, experience, wise

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s sixth husband. I know what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t know how to make it interesting.

Milton Berle

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?

Milton Berle

Milton Berle Quotes and Sayings, meaningful, famous

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He’s shy a quarter of a million dollars. That’s why he’s retiring.

Milton Berle